HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BLOG

Two years ago I launched my blog. It has been a powerful experience for me to share some of the milestones on my spiritual path. Time for some reflective thoughts.

SHARING IS CARING

First of all, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for being here. I am glad you are a part of the community and thanks to the ones who donate and give me some feedback. It is dearly appreciated. <3

Reflecting on my journey, I recall how I felt when I started the blog two years ago. It seems like ages ago. Back then, I was in the mindset that I needed a clear concept for content and visuals. I was still behaving like the media professional I had been for half my life. I felt the pressure to perform and I had to unlearn the notion that I needed to meet specific criteria or be halfway enlightened to write about Yoga.

Good that I started anyway, because by documenting milestones of my journey, I have learnt a lot. Among small and big revelations, I realized that perfection isn't necessary. The need to do something in a professional or perfect way is a childhood strategy that helped my younger self, but doesn't serve me anymore.

The key is to accept myself as I am, with all my imperfections and flaws. The only aim I have is to be true to myself, remaining curious and open to surprises on my ongoing journey. It might not be as spectacular, as the headlines I used to write while working as a journalist, but in this sacred space of my blog, I choose to be as authentic and aware as I am right now in this very moment.

A MOSAIC OF IDENTITIES

At 48, I can reflect on several identities and versions of myself. I wouldn't want to miss any of them. I've realized that some people - mainly men - wished I'd still embody one of my past selves. They got stuck with one of my past identities. Especially the rebel one, who left to China: Back then I was in love with the idea of myself being the dauntless traveler - constantly seeking the next adventure, stumbling in a new creative way over the next romantic drama. This version of me appears to align more closely with the twisted nature of our society. But the law of impermanence is valid to all of us. The way we respond to it is different for everybody. I chose to adapt to the changes in my life, I chose personal evolution and I am glad I did.

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"I am not what you think I am. You are what you think I am."

Unknown

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All the previous versions of myself have something in common: The craving for intensity. I have always been eager to experience life to its fullest potential - for the good and for the bad. It has become obvious to me that one of my biggest tasks in this life circles around setting healthy boundaries. In addition to that something else is repeatedly popping up on my life path: The presented opportunities to turn darkness to light are so numerous and therefore hard to ignore.

THE DARKNESS BRINGS OUT THE LIGHT

Based on my experiences, the most significant transformations have always occurred after enduring the darkest periods of my life. Ultimately, it was the absence of light that contributed most to my growth. Here are two examples to illustrate:

When I was heart broken and felt lost because my whole perception of life had crumbled in China back in the year 2007, I followed the call to travel to India. It was in Pushkar, India where I was able to find the path of Yoga and the love of my life at the same time. This magnificent combination of happenings invited me to embark on a journey on which I gradually managed to let go of my old self-sabotaging patterns. Through my daily Yoga practice I started to replace unhealthy habits with healthier ones.

When the war broke out in the country - I call my home - after October, 7 2023 I was confronted with the full spectrum of existential fears. I am talking about fears caused by hundreds of rockets exploding over my head, but also about the fears of others that were projected on me. I was forced to experience emotions I never thought I would have to go through. Layer by layer I worked myself through whatever was showing up. I underwent a process of deep healing. By confronting the most fundamental surviving strategies of my inner child I could get in touch with the unmet needs of my younger selves. In this way I have been able to acknowledge and transform some of the unfinished business my soul chose to deal with in this life.

Thanks to my Yoga practice I manage to not only stay sane, most of the time I have succeeded to surrender and trust, which is quite a sensation considering the control freak I used to be.

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"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,

but by making the darkness conscious."

Carl Jung

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THERE IS NOTHING TO FIX

When I mention choosing the light in my posts, it implies that we have to not only recognize the darkness, but also connect with it, to fully integrate it. It's beneficial to have yogic tools to address our issues, but it is important to understand that we don't need to fix ourselves, we're here to experience life. Life with all its light and darkness and all the million shades in between.

If we don't emotionally engage with our shadow aspects by experiencing them, they will keep resurfacing until we're prepared to fully process what we couldn't before. The saying The only way out is through! pretty much sums it up in just a few words.

In this sense may there be more light transformed by darkness. SAT NAM WAHE GURU!